Friday 26 June 2015

Secret HQ

My goal for writing is Words and using Conectives and Conjunctions. I have been working on using better words in my writing and using time words. Also I need to put some interesting words to make the reader influenced to read the rest of my story. How I got my goal was I did a test with the writing in my book already at the start of the term with the writing that I already had put in there. Then we marked our work in our book and put a tally mark for each part of my writing that I had done next to that goal on the paper. Once we finished that then we added our tally marks on our sheets separately. Then the sheet with the least amount of tally marks would be the goal that we worked on.








Big Idea:

In my writing I have highlighted the conjunctions red and connectives.

"Hi, I'm Mr Robert from the Secret Agency. This is my rom at HQ  and yes Mr Rusty, you can probably tell that we are in space!" Mr Robert explained to the robot.


"Wow, this is a really big room Mr Robert." Says Mr Rusty.


Although Mr Roberts room has lots of spy gear, the robot got a vibe that Robert liked making things like he made Rusty.


As Mr Robert sat down in his computer chair he started talking to Mr Rusty, "Mr Rusty." He began' "You are very important to me and  to everyone at HQ also while you go on missions. I am going to take you on missions once I talk to my boss into letting you come with me also how you will develop helping people at HQ." Mr Robert sounded very convinced.


Until Mr Robert had done the final touches on Mr Rusty , Mr Rusty would not be going on missions.


Mr Robert screwed on the last touch and it was the Mood Changer. The Mood Changer will predict the robots mood. As Mr Robert screwed on the Red Mood Changer and he was very pleased with
himself.


"That's it Mr Rusty, I'm all finished. I am ready to show you to my boss."


While entering the room, Mr Robert stepped very carefully, followed by Rusty. They both knew this was very important.


When facing away, the boss knew they were there. When he turned around to face them, he got a surprise when he met the robots eye.


Before Mr Robert spoke up he gulped, "Hello boss, I have created this robot to help people on missions as well as  at HQ."


"Well Mr Robert, this robot looks very interesting, could you please tell me a little bit about him?"


"I would love to." Mr Robert carried on, "So, this is Mr Rusty and I think he would be great on our team because..." Mr Robert stopped to look at Mr Rusty, "He has got what it takes. Since he has got
and tracking devices it is way better instead of carrying loads of spy stuff on your own.  Since this robot has a whole home inside him, you can go under cover on a secret mission inside to hide your self!"


When he looked his boss straight in the eye, Mr Robert got a chill down his spine.


Mr Roberts boss took an apple from his white fridge that was about the same size as him.


"Well, I am very impressed  with you and your robot. You, Mr Robert, have worked here for many years so  I think that you and your robot should go on a very important mission." The boss stood to examine the robot carefully.  As Mr Rusty stood very still he did not want to knock over or fall on anything.


The bosses room was full with shelves on the left for all his outstanding awards as a spy. On the right was a little table for two. His desk made out of dark brown wood , was in the middle of his room because his bathroom was behind him. As though you think he could not posably fit his bed in his room, you thought wrong  in the back of his desk is an pull out draw which holds his bed inside.



"Also, Mr Rusty can fly me down to earth  then back up here to HQ again." Mr Robert added  with a 
pleased smile on his face.


"Very impressive. I want you to do this very important mission." While the boss said as he turns his 
computer screen on  and   it flickers into life. It shows a picture of their target also where the mission is on earth.

The picture is of a woman  with  short dark brown hair. She's got evil eyes that look very cunning.


When Mr Robert turned to face Mr Rusty, Mr Rusty had a very suspicious smile on his face and Mr Robert didn't know why.


Mission Day has arrived and the excitement danced around the air.


Before Mr Robert slowly, as slowly as a snail, got out of bed Mr Rusty was already up and ready for the big day ahead.


"Good morning Mr Rusty." Mr Robert carried on, "It is your first mission today and it is going to be great. I'm going to get ready, so you can stay here."


Mr Rusty noded his head  as Robert turned the corner to put his clothes on.
 When Mr Robert came out to where Mr Rusty stood, he wore a track-suit  with the spy logo on his top.


 When Mr Robert saw Rusty had finished his breakfast, Mr Robert zoomed over to the table near the  kitchen and ate his breakfast as fast as a cheetah running.


They were all ready. Anticipation rises in both Rusty and Robert.


They go into the center of Mr Robert's big room. When Mr Rusty noded his head at Mr Robert, Mr Robert goes into the center of the room followed closely by Mr Rusty and presses a blue switch on the wall and flicks it up.


When Mr Rusty looked up he was amazed, "Oh my gosh! This is awesome, your roof opens up to space!"


"Yes, yes it does." Mr Robert said very proudly.


Mr Rusty opened a door on the front of his belly, so that Mr Robert could travel down to earth.


Once they were at earth, in Sanfransico they were ready to switch the button on the inside of Mr Robert so that they could track the evil eyed lady down.


"I know she is here somewhere, so stay low." Said Mr Robert keeping an eye open though the binoculars.


Suddenly Mr Robert heard a rustle in the dark green bush, in the far corner of the garden outside the mall.


A villain jumped out of the bush  and  it was the exact villan from the photo on the white computer screen.


Mr Rusty suddenly flung a door open on the side of his hip  and with his huge, big, hand he reached inside and grabbed out Mr Robert.


"What are you doing? Wait, don't throw me out. We are spy buddies!" Mr Robert begged to Mr Rusty.


But it was no use because Mr Robert had put the red Mood Changer on Mr Rusty  instead   of the blue Mood Changer.


Mr Rusty threw Robert across the garden  and he landed in a big, tall tree.


Before Mr Robert could blink the villan had jumped into Mr Rusty and they were off. They are flying back to HQ.


"Oh no, I am so busted." Mr Robert said very sadly, "Oh my, well, they are probably going to HQ to take over the world!"


Mr Rusty knew that he would be stuck down at Earth for a very long time.


Mr Rusty was nearly thee at HQ, when his door that he flung Mr Robert out of opened and the villan fell out of the door screaming!


Mr Rusty faulted suddenly and also went falling back down to earth.


Through the sight of Mr Robert's eye, he could see two things falling down from the sky.


When they landed the was a big, loud, strong, bang and thump. It was like a earthquake under people's feet.

Mr Robert ran over to where the robot and the lady lay.


The robot woke up and got off the floor. 


"I am very sorry and I promise I will always be on your side if you change the Mood Changer." Said Mr Rusty.


So that is just what Mr Robert did.

The End!


Feedback/Feedforward: I think you have achieved your goal. I can see lots of conjunctions and connectives highlighted in your story. Maybe next time when you post your writing you could post it as a google doc. 

Rosalind.


Evaluation: I think I have done a great job with showing my conjunctions. I could work on making sure I use other words rather than and all the time in my story.

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